I used to want to be popular...

This isn't really a "New Year's" thing (I've been doing this for a while). Listen... I plan to live a wonderful, happy, drama-free life. This is why I don't have a ton of people around me. I used to be everybody's friend until I realized everybody was not my friend. Now, I didn't turn bitter or withdraw into myself, but I have become increasingly selective about who I let into my space. I have become more discerning about the treatment/conversation/vibe I will entertain.  I used to fight to keep people in my Life, but I have learned that not everyone was meant to stay. I've learned to let relationships go for the preservation of my spirit and my sanity.  And I didn't need an all-out drama fest to let them go. One of us just had to quietly walk away.  My peace is sacred.

If I ever talk about you, it will be nothing that I have not or will not say to your face. I am less concerned about you liking me than I am about speaking truth. I won't be catty - just candid. I hope you can handle that.

I am not going to get into your business, but if you bring it to me, expect that I will be honest with you if you ask for my opinion or advice.

I am not going to tell you my business. Because it is just that - my business. If it concerns you, I will share. We need to be more private. And in related news, social media should not be the outlet for your personal matters. This is going to sound nasty but when you air dirty laundry, everybody gets to smell it. How about washing it instead?

I do not think I am better than anyone. I think that I am better than I was. I have grown. I am deepened my relationship with God and with myself. I have seen so much Light and Love, coming down from The Father Himself, poured into my spirit that...

I
Do
Not
Have
Time
For
Pettiness

My Life is about enrichment, purpose, beauty, freedom, love, kindness, and the like. I am going deeper and higher. God has a Plan for my Life and I am searching the blueprints to build the Life He wants for me.

I am happy.

I am so happy!

And I want you to be happy too.

But happiness isn't doing what you like. Happiness has boundaries. Something so wonderful needs to be protected. Fiercely guarded.

We often feel it is others who "make" us unhappy but nooo... it's us. We have the power to place ourselves in a positive place, regardless of our circumstances.  We also have the power to usher others into a positive place. We marvel at people who have gone through hard times and come out smiling, thinking we could never have the strength to do the same. You will never have what you tell yourself you will never have. You will never feel what you never allow yourself to feel. We decide most of what happens to us, just by the way we think. There are some situations outside of our control, but much of our pain is self-inflicted. We put ourselves in bad situations and then cry, "Whyyyyyyy?" Really?

I used to tell myself so many lies. I believed them. I didn't even know I was lying. And I influenced others to believe the lies too. But little by little, I let Truth in. I realized my worth. I am a priceless treasure. Priceless. The few who get to handle the gem that is me do so with naked hands, because I trust them. This is why I am so guarded. I recognize who I am and Whose I am. I cannot tarnish that by giving just anybody access to my sacred self.

I have a long way to go, but I have come too far to take a single step back. A lot of people won't understand. Some won't even care. I will get some "Who does she think she is?"  That's cool. I know who I am.

I am coming to realize that this is no longer about me. I am doing this (sharing, "preaching", whatever you want to call it) out of a burning desire to see people SHINE. Some of our hearts are so covered in mess and drama that we smother the little flicker of Light that is desperately trying to create a spark to light a fire and burn that stuff off. Let it go. Let it burn.

Does it feel good to be negative? When I get upset my heart races and my armpits feel nasty and it just gives me a headache.  Over time, I've learned to practice joy. Yes, it's a practice. And I've learned to practice the Presence of God. It's not like I feel that "big brother is watching" but more like a comforting Hand that rests gently on my shoulder, letting me know what I am never alone. And I've felt alone before. So alone. And I had so many people in my Life.

My friend pool may get even smaller, but it will be like a rich, thick soup, simmered for hours, full of flavor, nourishing my spirit.

I used to want to be popular. Now I want to be effective. You are going to be blessed through me. If not, why am I here?

More to share... more to come...

Blessings...