Blogmas - December 4, 2014

I gave myself a pedicure today.  In the grand scheme of things, this wasn't a big thing, but it made my day that much more awesome.  I had friends come by to take care of some yard work, and one took my car and brought it back ten times better than it was before.  I'm so grateful!  It's the little things that please me most.  Grand gestures are great and most often expected, but it's the little kindnesses and unexpected displays of friendship and Favor that blow me away.

I had so much on my list of things to do, but in the midst of it I looked down at my feet and decided that I needed a pedicure, so I dropped everything and did a self-spa day.  I had been in a rut.  Not feeling quite myself - that kind of "here-but-not-here" feeling.  I came out of it a few days ago when I did some sewing.  It never fails.  When I get in a funk the best thing for me to do is clean or create.  I chose to create the other day, and clean today (well, my feet anyway).

There is a lot to be said for pampering, even if it's self-pampering.  When I take the time to sit and give myself a pedi, I can't cook or clean or fold laundry at the same time.  It forces me to take a break.  I have to sit there and go through the process.  It had been over a month since my last pedi, so what a process it was! LOL!  But I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed the "me time".  It's something I've had to force myself to add to my routine.  With all the things on my "to-do" list, it's funny how doing me was not a priority. That's not good.

As a "Stay-At-Home-Mom", I love being there for my family, but I've learned that taking care of me first isn't being selfish, it's being responsible.  I can't be my best for my family if I'm not treating myself the best way I can.  I like to feel good in my skin.  Taking time to take care of my body puts me in a good mood.  And I think that spills over to my family.

Lesson learned.  

Blogmas - December 3, 2014

I used to work so hard at pleasing others and being "successful" but now I work hard at being me.  Being true to myself is what will reveal my purpose.  There's a reason I am the way I am.  There's a reason I get excited about art and dance and music and spirituality.  There's a reason I can cry my eyes out over some atrocity thousands of miles away, that will never really affect me.  There's a reason I want you to be happy and at peace, even if I don't know you personally.  That's how I'm shaped and it directly influences how I will impact the lives of others.  And I want to impact the lives of others. Directly or indirectly.  

I can't be true to me while following someone else's path.  God has a plan for me and I miss out if I am trying to grab at what's set aside for someone else.  The truth is, I don't want your blessing.  But I do want you to be blessed. I want my blessing, but not at your demise.

True success never comes from stepping on the backs of others and leaving them at the side of the road. I've never been ambitious.  I've never wanted to climb the corporate ladder. And I used to think something was wrong with me. I used to think I wasn't reaching my full potential.  Sure, I could have gone along that road, but it's not me.  I'm the woman who walks on the beach and is moved to tears at the majesty of the ocean.  I can sit and watch a tree and see its branches dance to the rhythm of God's breath.  I am a thinker, a worshipper, a lover of Life. 

I have the chance to explore a part of myself that I was too busy to acknowledge.  I'm digging deeper and finding that the discovery of who I am is a wonderful journey. Knowing myself is such a blessing.  There's no greater way to honor my Creator than to be the person He made me to be.

It's like peeling back petals of a flower and seeing color after color emerge.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and the more I learn, love and appreciate the One who made me, the more I learn, love and appreciate myself. 

The journey to self is never easy.  We wear so many masks and cloaks we often believe what we see reflected.  But to be willing to strip yourself away, layer by layer, is to be willing to be vulnerable to yourself. Not to anyone else.  We must love ourselves enough to tell ourselves the truth.

That's all for now.

Blessings...

Hard Times are Good Times

We've all experienced little moments when Life seems as if it has all come together and all the pieces fit just right.  It's great!

But that's not where we grow.

We grow in the times when everything goes wrong and we choose to act right, regardless of how we feel. We grow in the times when anger rises up but we choose not to act on it. We grow in the times when we don't want to do "it" but do "it" because we know we should.

Here's to the hard times.  They shape us into better people when we use our difficulty to our advantage.

You were never meant to be overcome by this Life. You are more than a conquerer through Him who loves you. You are more than your circumstances, because God is bigger than your situation.

Believe.

Trust.

A Little Travel Guidance

I'm listening to thunder and remembering my last plane trip. We flew through a storm and I remember being surprised by the lightning flashing all around the plane because there was almost no turbulence.  I didn't even realize we were in a storm!  I remember staring out of the window and thinking how beautiful the lightning was. Then there was that sneaky whisper, telling me that I was in a plane in the middle of the sky and I can't fly.

I took my mind off the lightning show just long enough to tell the devil to shut up.

Beyond trusting that the plane's pilot was well trained and knew what he was doing, I knew that I was flying with another amazing Pilot who was sure to get me to my destination safely.

Don't be scared of the thunder or the flashes of lighning that come with Life's storms. Put your seatbelt on, sit in your seat and let the Pilot do the flying. My job wasn't to fly the plane. I didn't have the leading role in this "flying through the storm experience". I was going from one place to another and a storm was in the way. I had to trust the Pilot to get me through. My "seatbelt" was the security of Divine Protection. My "seat" was the connection of my heart with my Creator and alignment with His Will for my Life.  One of the first things I heard the Flight Attendant say to another passenger was "Return to your seat."  Not someone else's seat. Yours. Too many of us are either walking aimlessly up and down the aisle or sitting in someone else's seat.

There are rules to follow on the plane. You can't smoke. You have to turn your cellphone off. You have a luggage limitation. Oh if only there was a luggage limitation on Life! We carry waayyyyy too much luggage on our "flights" through this Life. Too much luggage on a plane puts the aircraft under pressure to carry a heavy load.  Think about it.  When you have too much stuff you affect the entire flight. It's not just about you. Another passenger can't fit their bag in the overhead cabin because your bag is taking up too much space. Now what are they suppsed to do with their bag? The plane is full. You just displaced someone because you are carrying too much stuff.  Remember you aren't the only one on the "plane". Pack light, so we can all travel safely.

Turn it Down, Turn it Down... Watch it All Work Out

We've heard about the "still, small voice" of God, but how many of us actually hear it?

We are bombarded with urges to do more and be more and work harder.  Hustle. Grind. "I'll sleep when I'm dead."  While it's true that hard work yields the reward of success, we have to be mindful to balance all that work with some reflection; some "down time".

How do we hear God when all around us is the noise we, and others, are making as we try to get to the top (wherever that is).  Side note: there are a lot if miserable people at "the top". For me, the top is where I am at peace.  I remember leaving a well-paying job for another and taking a $10,000 pay cut so I could have peace of mind.  I could have followed the same career path, and my bank account would have reflected "success" but I would have been miserable. It wasn't want I wanted to do.  At the time I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I knew it wasn't that.  Know when you've had enough.  Know when you need a change.  Explore the possibilities.  You know when something isn't right.  Most of the time, if you're trying to convince yourself you belong somewhere, you don't.

Shift focus.  Stop all the "doing" for a minute.  Just a minute.  Get in touch with God, and He will get you in touch with you.

You may not believe it but it is the still, small voice that will help you navigate as you make your way through all the noise of Life.  Most of those noises are distractions.  The only way to hear The Voice it is to slip away to a quiet place.  Matthew 6:6 tells us to "go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."  So many of my private prayers, some that I spoke only in the inner chambers of my heart, have been answered openly, and through no effort on my part.

Remember, this voice, though small, is God talking.  He doesn't need to shout.  You need to be quiet enough to hear Him.  

We keep hearing, "Turn it up".

No.

Turn it down.

Sit down, shut up, and listen...

- Blessings...

I used to want to be popular...

This isn't really a "New Year's" thing (I've been doing this for a while). Listen... I plan to live a wonderful, happy, drama-free life. This is why I don't have a ton of people around me. I used to be everybody's friend until I realized everybody was not my friend. Now, I didn't turn bitter or withdraw into myself, but I have become increasingly selective about who I let into my space. I have become more discerning about the treatment/conversation/vibe I will entertain.  I used to fight to keep people in my Life, but I have learned that not everyone was meant to stay. I've learned to let relationships go for the preservation of my spirit and my sanity.  And I didn't need an all-out drama fest to let them go. One of us just had to quietly walk away.  My peace is sacred.

If I ever talk about you, it will be nothing that I have not or will not say to your face. I am less concerned about you liking me than I am about speaking truth. I won't be catty - just candid. I hope you can handle that.

I am not going to get into your business, but if you bring it to me, expect that I will be honest with you if you ask for my opinion or advice.

I am not going to tell you my business. Because it is just that - my business. If it concerns you, I will share. We need to be more private. And in related news, social media should not be the outlet for your personal matters. This is going to sound nasty but when you air dirty laundry, everybody gets to smell it. How about washing it instead?

I do not think I am better than anyone. I think that I am better than I was. I have grown. I am deepened my relationship with God and with myself. I have seen so much Light and Love, coming down from The Father Himself, poured into my spirit that...

I
Do
Not
Have
Time
For
Pettiness

My Life is about enrichment, purpose, beauty, freedom, love, kindness, and the like. I am going deeper and higher. God has a Plan for my Life and I am searching the blueprints to build the Life He wants for me.

I am happy.

I am so happy!

And I want you to be happy too.

But happiness isn't doing what you like. Happiness has boundaries. Something so wonderful needs to be protected. Fiercely guarded.

We often feel it is others who "make" us unhappy but nooo... it's us. We have the power to place ourselves in a positive place, regardless of our circumstances.  We also have the power to usher others into a positive place. We marvel at people who have gone through hard times and come out smiling, thinking we could never have the strength to do the same. You will never have what you tell yourself you will never have. You will never feel what you never allow yourself to feel. We decide most of what happens to us, just by the way we think. There are some situations outside of our control, but much of our pain is self-inflicted. We put ourselves in bad situations and then cry, "Whyyyyyyy?" Really?

I used to tell myself so many lies. I believed them. I didn't even know I was lying. And I influenced others to believe the lies too. But little by little, I let Truth in. I realized my worth. I am a priceless treasure. Priceless. The few who get to handle the gem that is me do so with naked hands, because I trust them. This is why I am so guarded. I recognize who I am and Whose I am. I cannot tarnish that by giving just anybody access to my sacred self.

I have a long way to go, but I have come too far to take a single step back. A lot of people won't understand. Some won't even care. I will get some "Who does she think she is?"  That's cool. I know who I am.

I am coming to realize that this is no longer about me. I am doing this (sharing, "preaching", whatever you want to call it) out of a burning desire to see people SHINE. Some of our hearts are so covered in mess and drama that we smother the little flicker of Light that is desperately trying to create a spark to light a fire and burn that stuff off. Let it go. Let it burn.

Does it feel good to be negative? When I get upset my heart races and my armpits feel nasty and it just gives me a headache.  Over time, I've learned to practice joy. Yes, it's a practice. And I've learned to practice the Presence of God. It's not like I feel that "big brother is watching" but more like a comforting Hand that rests gently on my shoulder, letting me know what I am never alone. And I've felt alone before. So alone. And I had so many people in my Life.

My friend pool may get even smaller, but it will be like a rich, thick soup, simmered for hours, full of flavor, nourishing my spirit.

I used to want to be popular. Now I want to be effective. You are going to be blessed through me. If not, why am I here?

More to share... more to come...

Blessings...

Bad Dreams

On New Year's Day, early in the morning, I had a bad dream.  So bad that it broke me down.  I felt this dream to my core...like it was really happening.  I cried. Some ugly crying too.

As I relayed the dream to my husband, he looked at me and matter-of-factly said, "Why are you upset?  Don't you think that's the devil?"  I was so caught up in my emotions even though I knew it was "just a dream".

I had to step back and let The Truth sink in.  I had to let Light shine into the dark corner of my heart that dream created.  I cried some more, talked, shared, prayed, and then I felt better.  Emotion subsided and faith re-surfaced.  I am okay. It was just a dream.

It's amazing how our emotions can shake us, even when we know deep down that the thing we fear can't really hurt us.

Rejection...

We got overlooked for a promotion...

Someone laughed at an idea we were passionate about pursuing...

We failed at something we tried so hard to do...

So we let the "bad dream" set the tone for the day...  And the next...  And the next...  And pretty soon, life is a bad dream we can't seem to wake up from.

Yes, there will be times when we are shaken.  There will be times of fear, or doubt, or concern.  But there must always be A Truth that breaks through that.  There must be A Way to find strength to push past the emotional fog that can cloud our view of The Path we are walking on.

You have a Divine Purpose.  God has established an expected end for you.  He has plans to prosper you.  Take hold of that Truth.  Let moments of fear be fleeting but let praise be perpetual.

Don't let the demon that chased you in your dream run rampant in your waking hours!

Blessings...